Equal Shared Parenting Protects You The Canadian Tax Payer:

Since the introduction of the so-called “No Fault Divorce,” the divorce industry has evidenced unprecedented growth, and has become a multi-billion dollar business in Canada. After it’s introduction the divorce rate has steadily climbed from 8% to being among the world’s highest at about 50% of marriages. Each year there are approximately 75,000 divorces and 50,000 child custody orders. Of these approximately 90% of the time custody is awarded to mothers. There are approximately 2 million children in Canada who are now living life without their Father due to the adversarial Family Court System.

So, what is the financial cost of the adversarial Family Justice System to Canadian Taxpayers and Families? Here is a breakdown of the annual costs just for the operations of the Family Justice System only.



You the Canadian Taxpayers are paying for this:



Cost of Judges Salary – $300,000,000


Cost of Administration, Operations, $400,000,000


Cost of Court Security - $100,000,000


Cost of Legal Aid - $200,000,000


Cost of Enforcement - $120,000,000


Cost of Lawyers - $4,600,000,000



These numbers are estimated, based on the Ontario numbers provided by the Ontario Provincial Auditor, as details for New Brunswick were not available. With one third of the total population of Canada residing in Ontario, the totals for Canada were prorated accordingly. In those cases where input numbers included Civil and Criminal justice, the proportion to Family Justice was approximated. These costs do not include the many other associated costs such as mediators, social workers, police, children’s aid societies, etc. They are just the costs related to the Family Court portion.


References: Attorney General, Ontario Court Services Annual Report 2005, Ontario Provincial Auditor – Annual Report 2003, Federal Funding of Provincial Child Support enforcement, Department of Justice – Report on Plans and Priorities 2004-2005, Canadian Judicial Council, Profile of legal aid services in family law maters in Canada, CanLaw.


The Total Yearly Cost to Canadian Taxpayers and Families in Crises is approximately $6 Billion per year. Remember though, that is only the administrational costs.


For this huge expenditure, there is absolutely no value or benefit to our Canadian families, or Canadian Society as a whole. In fact, our Family Justice System only brings about harm and damage to our Families, and our Society. The only people benefiting from the court created family conflict are the Judges (Former Lawyers) and Family Law Lawyers, as well as the Assessors, who charge up to twenty thousand dollars to do an assessment.


What is the financial cost of the adversarial Family Justice System to Canadian society as a whole? When you add up the costs incurred by society for items such as; courts; legal subsidization; additional costs to healthcare; additional costs to education systems and other social institutions; the increase in crime, including juvenile delinquency; policing; welfare costs for those single parent families that fall into poverty; E.I.; support and enforcement agencies such as FRO; the impact on workplace productivity and placement, as well as loss of productivity on the part of affected adults; personal bankruptcies; crime; and the future costs related to be responsible for such a situation; the costs to Canadian society and Canadian Taxpayers is astronomical. Some estimates have been given as high as 10 to 12 Billion Dollars annually.
Although buried in our social fabric, these are real costs that impact the country’s bottom line, and from a global business perspective, they impact our competitiveness. For our society as a whole, the dissolution of marriage is a costly proposition.


Couldn’t this money be put to better use?


Can you imagine the benefit to society as a whole if these funds were used for healing families, or for dealing with poverty?


Couldn’t this money be used to speed up the wait times in our National Health Care system?
Wouldn’t this money be better spent on Education programs?


France has free University for its Citizens, to the extent that there is no tuition charged by public universities. Students are only responsible for their own housing, food and other expenses. Couldn’t the billions being wasted on our failing Family Justice System be used to put a similar Public University Program into service here in Canada? Wouldn’t such a Public Service be more beneficial to Canadian society???


Shouldn’t the Billions wasted be redirected for programs to:


- Prevent family crises.- Help families on the edge recover.- Equitably address all issues of domestic violence regardless of gender.- Support families to help them survive divorce and help enable “New Beginnings”.- Focus efforts on legitimate cases of need and enforcement only where there is a dereliction of responsibilities.- Initiate programs to help eliminate the poverty caused by the impacts of divorce.


As we, the Canadian Taxpayers support divorce, as well as the added cost to society of single parent homes, shouldn’t we be the most powerful lobbying group the Government should pay attention to?

Unfortunately for the Children of Divorce, the Canadian Bar Association is the most powerful lobbyist group in Canada when it comes to the Family Justice System, and they don’t want things to change at all.

Equal Shared Parenting Helps To Reduce Conflict

For the Sake of the Children, the Rebuttable Presumption of Equal Shared Parenting would help reduce the conflict, as it levels the playing field between both parents, and ensures that neither parent needs to feel threatened about losing their relationship with their child. Equal Shared Parenting provides both parents, and the child, with the security of a continuing relationship with one another.

Research is abundantly clear that the level and intensity of Parental Conflict is the most influential factor in a Child’s post divorce adjustment. High conflict between parents is the single best predictor of a poor outcome for the child.

Common sense tells you that parental conflict deeply affects children, but it is even worse when the parents feel hatred towards one another. The adversarial nature of the Canadian Family Justice System is a perfect vehicle for generating outright hate amongst a divorcing couple. It does so by increasing the conflict and tension with an atmosphere built around fear of loss instead of hope and promise.

When parents sense that they may lose their child forever, because the child, being so young, will not have the capability of recovering the relationship on his or her own, they react to this threat with anger, hostility, and sometimes an irrational sense of impending doom.

Sometimes they flip out and do outrageous, and illegal things

... like the mother in Barrie who was embroiled in a bitter custody battle, who drowned her 2 children, Serena and Sophia (age 1 and 3), in 2006.

Frances Elaine Campione, who selfishly wanted to win sole custody of the children, so that she could return to her native New Brunswick and start a new life, murdered both children, because her ex-husband, Leonardo Campione, appeared to have been on the verge of more regular visits with his children, after more than a year of barely seeing his two daughters.

The Campione Family Tradgedy should haunt every politician, judicial officer, Family and Children Services worker, counsellor and family involved in a separation. The murders of these 2 precious little angels should make our Members of Parliament hang their heads in shame.

If our Government would have done the right thing back in 1991, and implemented the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child into our National Law, including our Family Law, the Campione Children might still be alive today.

If our Government would have done the right thing back in 1998, and amended the Divorce Act to put into practice the recommendations of the For The Sake Of The Children report, little Serena and Sophia might still be alive today.

If our Government would have done the right thing back in 2002, and passed the Honourable Jay Hill’s, Equal Shared Parenting Private Members Bill, Bill C-245, two beautiful little angels might still be alive today.

If our Government refuses once again to reform the Family Justice System in Canada, and put into practice the Rebuttable Presumption of Equal Shared Parenting, it is just a matter of time before a similar tragedy occurs.

To read an article from Canada.com on The Campione Family Tragedy , please click on the title.

http://www.canada.com/topics/news/story.html?id=d3559993-aa42-41db-87b1-d227556b1840

New Brunswick Needs a "Safe Haven" Legislation to protect those that are unprotected

In 1999, Texas became the first state to enact a "safe haven" law, which is intended to protect children from neglect, abuse, abandonment, or infanticide. Safe-haven laws, versions of which now exist in 48 states but vary from state-to-state, allow parents to safely relinquish custody of newborn infants at hospitals, police stations, fire stations and EMS stations. As of February 2008, only Alaska, Nebraska and Washington, D.C., have no safe-haven laws.

In New Brunswick we presently have no such law to protect those that are murdered by their very own parents. Last year I sent this to a few Members in the Legislature to look at and bring forward motion to our Province. Last year two high level cases happened where two childfen may be alive and well if we did possess this " Safe haven Legislation".

This is my Proposal submitted last March:

Who May Relinquish a Child

In the USA depending on the state, the birth mother, the birth father, legal guardians, and/or individuals acting as representatives of the parents may bring a child to a safe haven. In New Brunswick this should follow suit as the person relinquishing the child must fill in a legal documentation and have valid New Brunswickk Identification to be able to relinquish.

The Age of a Child

In the USA most states require that children be no more than one month old, but some states accept children no more than 72-hours-old and others permit children as much as 1-year-old. The timeframe is deliberately narrow in order to ensure that newborns receive adequate care.

Immunity from Prosecution

The USA some states guarantee that the parents of unharmed infants will not be prosecuted for abandonment, others reduce the severity of charges or make clear that relinquishing a child at a safe haven is an affirmative defense in the event of prosecution. If a child has been abused or neglected, the parent or guardian loses all guarantees of anonymity or immunity of prosecution. I believe all of this should be taken into consideration and the other parent male/female or extended families must have the first option at Guardianship and/or Adoption of the child. The Child must be examined within 48 hours for any forms of such mentioned abuses or neglect and then a 60 day window where family members are given first option.

Ability to Reclaim a Child

The USA depending on the state, parents may have the opportunity to regain custody of their child if they change their mind within a defined time period. In most states, the birth father retains all parental rights if he was unaware that the child's mother relinquished control of the child. This must be upheld and the other family members given option before set child is openly Adopted.

Relinquishing and Adoption

When a child is brought to a safe haven, the employee may ask the parent about the child's medical and family history, though the person relinquishing the child is not required to provide any information. Staff may also provide the parent with information regarding their parental rights once the child is relinquished.

Once a child is given to staff at a safe haven, the infant will be turned over to child-welfare authorities, receive necessary medical care and, eventually, be placed with adoptive parents.

The psychological aspect of Divorce

To continue off the discussion on Bill C-422 and why it is needed we would have to look at the Psychologial aspect of divorce and what brings one human being to use a child and alientate them against another. Some say it is about control others claim it is becasue of mental illness. I always look at peer reviewed materials and alot of case studies. I also always try to look from my own past experience for conclusions as myself have seen the first hands of Parental Alientation. The main thing with C-422 is to eliminate and remove the ability for one parent to use the system to harm a child's relationship with the Non-Custodial parent.

To understand what people go through is to understand seperation and divorce and the people that go through the system and the system itself. The people have decided that they as a couple will move on some have prior to the relationship ending others the reciever of the ending relationship. The person that ends the relationship will do this for mutiple reasons as you can pick up any oprah book of the week and see why this happens. The thing that seems never to get discussed is the mental states of people once this happens and what they do prior too,during and then immediately after dependant on their own mental states. The mental states of someone with a prior mental condition or during that is driven to a mentally unstable condition will do somethings that others with rational thoughts will find extreme or ludcrist at times. One thing that seems to be the common factor is the ones that go to the extreme have underlying control issues. They will call everyone or anything around them as contrls on them. The thing is usually they are the controller because of their childhood or events that happened within the enviroment they grew up in.

The enviroment I believe is one of the greatest contributers to what does happen as we become parents. The people that have been effected with violence in any form or abuse will be the greatest offenders of parental alienation. I have studied including my own a cicero style of approach to this. This approach is to look back to see what is the route cause not just the end effect and label it. The person if female and is the offender of Parental Alientation in 96% of the cases I have looked at through longitudal studies and real time overt and covert observation seem to see the same pattern. The high end being sexually exploited or abused in their youth. They also seem to have a mother that also follows the same pattern. In the case I put alot of study into showed some interesting yet disturbing facts. The offender was molested by the mothers father and the mother and her female siblings also molested by the father. In most cases where I have seen this prevelent also violence at a young age male or female has been very evident. So looking at the DSV-IV or V shows alot of mental illness is more of a chemical imbalance more than a enviromental and sociogial cause. In medicine though they have proven under extreme stress it can do some nasty things to a persons physcial chemistry. So if we take an abused individual which is during these incidents put under extreme stress and almost soul taking experiences creates an imbalance within the brain chemistry. The thing is once these chemicals are outside the norms can chemicals interventions return that persons thought pattern back to a logical norm. Yes we do have to blame the meida's of the world because they do potray the person as doing the right thing but that is for a different discussion. So this is not only a sociological but a pattern started alomst within the family geniology. So we watch the grandmother how she was and reacted to situtations and then watch the mother to the child. The one I followed closely the grandmother married young and divorced almost 20 years ago. She used everything from false allegations to direct Parental alientation towards the father. She an emotional and sexually abused person and then to see her own child emotionally and sexually abused by her own father will and has been shown in alot of the cases of sexual abuse see that they will put that on to the whole gender not just the perpetrator. So then it becomes a genrational issue or almost cyclical.

The cycle is then brought down to the next generation to the third generation. They are taught that their biological parent because of issues of seperation are now for them to deal with in todays reality. The mental illness of the previous generations are not brought by a chemical imbalance but a teaching of psychologial and socilogical deviance. The thing now and bringing the discussion back to Bill C-422 is how do we as a society break the cycle of this. How can there be a pitfall put in place that will protect the children from falling down this rabbit hole that abuse was in their genology but not a causation of the other parent. The emotionally and mentally disturbed parent that will use this form of abuse will not see it as abuse but more of their own protection mechanism of their offspring. The reality it is what they are teaching the child. One of the key factors is abuse of authority which I have discussed in previous blog writings. The custodial parent believes they are above the law and will teach the child that the justice that made a legal decision is not the law that the custodial parent is the law. Parental Alientation once a custody order is put in place is a form of contempt of court. Contempting of a court order is illegal and as probally most have seen in the movies a justice state I will hold you in contempt of court. So if someone and most do not see one justice any differently than another. So do most know the difference between a family court justice and a crimal court justice. Once people look at the amount of studies done on youth offences in the judical system see that most came from broken homes. Are you starting to see the pattern? So a custodial parents shows the child the law is not above them they are starting the psychological and socilogical training of the child that the law is not above them that they control the laws around them. Training them not only to be a controling personality type but laws are to be broken if they see without rationalization that doing this has concenquence as the custodial parent is not held in contempt of court.

So as you are starting to put the pieces together of what creates and causes the perpetrator of Alientation and Abuse and why these nessesary changes need to occur are you seeing the root causes? I will use an analogy so it fits the picture of the reason why this needs to happen. In 1974 in Canada there were no speed laws. So unless a police officer in his own discression though you were going to injure someone else would not pull you over and say you were speeding. Many studies show previous to that excessive speed leads to car crashes. So we brought forward laws to be enforced that speed limits within norms would be introduced for the protection of the Citizens of Canada. So now after years of studies and seeing the global effects which there are so many other societal cost to the way the industry is set up. So when are the politcal realm going to put a speed limit on the people that abuse children?

Bill C-422 and why its nessesary

I only write from time to time when I have a chance but this morning had a little downtime. Today Bill C-422 has started to come full circle and starting to get noticed accross the country. For those who do not know what this bill is about brings some concern but once understanding it will deem it nessesary. The bill is for a new concept of recent years called equal parenting. Equal parenting is when the custodial( parent that holds custody) and the non-custodial parent(usually made a vistor) shares in all aspects of raising their biological child. Today there are many varations of custody orders put into place by our current sitting family court judges. They are Sole Custody(one person has all say and the other parent has been near to completely removed from their childs life) and Joint Custody(which is another form of sole custody). In both of these styles of custody one person hold the controls and the non custodial parent has nothing to do besides agree even if it is not in the" Best interests of the child". In both of these arrangements the secondary parent is permitted by a family court judge an alloted time to see their biological parent. The thing is an as we get futher into the discussion why the need for Equal Parenting is needed.

Equal Parenting or otherwise refered to Equal Shared Parenting has been around for awhile but not until Australia introduced legislation did it start to get worldwide notice. Research has shown time and time again well adjusted children of divorce come from well adjusted parents. The current system works to create dysfunctionability within the child and the parent. Equal Parenting is when the parents assume the same parental roles they did previously prior to seperation or Divorce. They would spend equal time with their child and would have an equal say in how they are raised. There will always be extreme cases where the justice would have to step in and say you have done this and it has been proven so and deem an other arrangement so the safety and interests of the child are upheld. In current statistics though it shows this is only about 5-7% of cases in Canada. So 95% of canadian society falls into the other realm where this type of arrangement would best suit a child's and parents interest. The child is no longer a pawn within the industry of divorce nor subjegated to parental scorn for each other.

Some key points to understand about todays current legislation under the current act. Children are put up as chatel in a divorce case just like how the car or proprty is divided. You may think this is an extreme statement but the sad part its true. The other thing that the current system is not taking into consideration is the parents themselves. I will put this one out to you, someone that is reading this,have you ever ended or had a relationship end on you. My first question is do you think logically or emotionally? Do you first think ooh our poor child or do you think ohh that son of a %^*&. If you answered these questions honestly than we both know the answer. So you as a human being are hurt and distraught thinking they did this not we did this or the big one how are our children or child going to feel. When someone dies we go through states of grief and many times it is compared to seperation. So then the next logical step is meeting with a laywer some when it is available will go to mediation to try to solve the childs best interests. If mediation fails and one or the other party fails to agree then off to the laywers office we go. A laywer is trained to defend you, not the best interest of your child. Their goal is to get the best for you at any expense to you,your child,your wallet and especially your ex. Sounds good right? So who is the first casulties in this, a child, a person at one time you loved, the child's extended family and grandparents. So if the law is there to promote this and the laywers and judges trained to treat custody and access this way.

more to follow:

The education of the masses part 1 - case 133

I thought rather than going back to the begining of the when and why's I jumped in as an advocate for childrens rights start with the here and now. I sat on a phone with a nice fellow discussing his case. Average guy that meets all your psychological norms tests, good dad and works everyday. One of the first things I noticed from the first of the conversation that this gentleman was worried after meeting with his laywer. He like alot of men I encounter doing this is he said here is my laywers name and what do you think of him. I always try to not drill a laywer to bad because they say" Only a fool represents themselves". I think that should be changed to only a foolish judge thinks that a man without money can afford to pay the exsorbent cost of a laywer. He then asked that question well I just got served papers for primary residence, as he had looked after the child in that capcity since he and his ex seperated. The laywer that he spoke to forgot to mention things like status quo and parentus to him. So as all people that seem to call, education on the system was always the first place I have to start. Our system here in Canada has been on a downward spiral since around 1968 a year after we became a true country. The no fault divorce act as it has been deemed and the start of the destruction of the family and family value. So here is some of the beginings for people that choose to read this will understand.

We all have relationships some good, some bad and well statiscally 51% plus that result in marriage end in divorce. So if you have 10 close friends that are currently married in the first 5 years of it well they will go through this game of hell. So you ask how is that education, more of a little profescy of where you who read this may be someday. If your female, you stand a pretty good chance to take the fellow your with if you have children to the cleaners. If your male well stats that you can find 87% of custodial parents in this country are female. So looking at that you say well I have joint custody but who possesses the primary residence status. So lets take a look at the first part of a seperation.

So people grow apart, never were more than a chaser and a chasee, and well some just didn't do that main thing take a look at this person and with the quirks you both posess and say in 50 years will I be able to look at you the same way I did after the wedding night. Another key thing people go on ooh its my soul mate, fairy tale romance, well guess what they still are human and so are you. So when the fairy tale ends and reality sits in will you be able to say the same thing. Do you share common interests, do you like to do things together and still have that time for hanging with the guys or hanging with the girls. If your a parent then well that is limited especially when your kids are young. They grab alot of your attention and well are really demanding of your time. So now I painted a negative picture to some, the truth and reality to others. So I could go on what the back ground of relationships are like but when you read this an examine yours, hopefully your not calling me and saying what the hell did I do.

So in the begging of a seperation it usually goes with one person initiating it. Yes sad to say but from anywhere's you read even good ole cosmo, for the ladies, females initate the seperation. So generally from the 133 cases I have worked on over the last 10 years it is one cheated on the other, they were really better off as friends,one had deeper childhood psychologial issues that were never dealt with, and addictions, seem to top off the list as the most prevelant things I came accross. So then we as adults seperate, take a minute if you have a child and look in their eyes if your divorced and say did I hurt you when we broke up. They as children will spit and spudder because of that question. For the love of god if they are little don't do that because they are probally already confused as it is. MOre for the 13 years of age or older.This one is more for the normal people, ones that do not try to beat the hell out of each other or do just right down nasty things to each other. This is for the ones that just found out they should of never been together.

So next is you get your place I'll get mine and we both share time and responsiblty with the child. Common sense most would say. Ok when did emotion and common sense ever enter into the same equation? If your quick you know that answer never. So the person you loved or loved you just looked you in the face and said thats it, thats all ,bye bye. So yes your jumping up for joy, wait, no your not your going through the stages of divorce. Same as death we morn everything death, and so on the same way. We go through stages. The thing with this is well the casulty become the innocent bystanders called your kids.

New dad gets helping hand - Published Wednesday July 22nd, 2009

FREDERICTON - Shaun Nixon said he'd be out on the street with his four-month-old son Tobias if it hadn't been for the eleventh-hour generosity of a Fredericton firefighter.

Enlarge Photo Stephen MacGillivray PhotoStephen MacGillivray/canadaeast news serviceShaun Nixon holds his son Tobias with Shawnee Main and her son Graeson. haun Nixon said he'd be out on the street with his four-month-old son Tobias if it hadn't been for the eleventh-hour generosity of a Fredericton firefighter.

Nixon and Tobias had been living in the Comfort Inn on Prospect Street since his girlfriend abandoned them about a month ago.

But recently, he ran out of money to pay for his hotel stay and, with no family or friends nearby, he faced a daunting future.

Nixon couldn't turn to the Fredericton Men's Shelter because of Tobias and the Transition House doesn't allow men.

The government-subsidized apartment he'd secured isn't available until Aug. 1.

Nixon and Tobias had nowhere to go.

That's until Shawnee Main, a firefighter and single mom, heard about Nixon's struggles on the evening newscast.

She felt she had to do something, so she paid him a visit with words of encouragement, a pile of baby supplies and a promise to pay his hotel bill until his apartment is ready.

"It really hit me. I am a single mom with a big support system, but I couldn't imagine not knowing where my kid is going to sleep at night," she said. "(Nixon) has no family here in Fredericton that I know of.

"He must've felt pretty overwhelmed," she said. "He's a new parent and he's doing it on his own and that alone is tough. I felt for him."

"(What she did) meant everything to me," Nixon said. "I didn't have any time at all and she really saved my rear.

"Knowing that a total stranger would step up like this and help me out just means the world."