Being Dad

A long time about 10 years ago to be exact, there was no advocating for children's rights to have both parents in their lives for me, no meeting with politician's I was just was Dad. Playing catch with my son with buddies of mine in front of my house or singing poorly with my daughter to butterfly kisses. Today in someways I am still a very lucky Dad. My son even though some day's I wonder if common sense will enter into his knowledge base will ever happen or will he succeed in life still love him as much as the day he entered the world. I guess that is what it is to be a parent. Then we turn to my second child the little girl that I would sing off key to butterfly kisses with or go to the dollar store and because at the time she loved moon and stars took 3 days to put glow in the dark stars and moons on her ceiling so she would sleep better at night. That is how I got into this deep dark hole called " Equal Parenting". You would think at first glance it makes perfect sense and why wouldn't it be the first thing over sole custody's and parental alienation. The thing is in over two years I have seen her once. The first thing I would hear from people is well you have "joint custody" and are a good father then why is this happening. The reason is a very simple one and came from my own little girls mouth" If I go against them then I will lose them and daddy your strong and can handle it, I can't go back to them fighting with you". Then see the tears falling down her face as she said that to me and I trying to be tough and fight back my own tears. I looked at her this person which in my mind was not the almost 14 year old she had become looked at her and said " I am always here for you boo bear any time day or night". I had to once again sit there and go alright why would someone at one point in my life was loved could do such an evil thing. To take a child's mind and make them so scared of losing them if they had a relationship with their other parent. Then I remember the times in previous years I had gone back to court and a Justice say " you have time with your child" and for a week or two to pass and then the court order broken and once again wait six to seven months to get back in so I could once again repair a lost relationship with my daughter. I still today even while writing this shake my head and wonder how someone could stoop so low as to destroy a parent and child relationship or legally even have that ability. To always be that outsider to your child's life almost sneaking behind the scenes to see how well she is doing in school or be that stranger in the background watching them receive an award. I bet as people read this can relate in someway as a friend or relative of someone they have heard this happen too. If a child dies you have that ability to mourn that loss even as hard as it is to say goodbye to that person you loved so deeply. In today's regiment of Divorce and Custody they force you to either do that to someone that is alive and well as a non-custodial parent male or female. This weekend gone by, the little organization I founded 10 years ago because of my own situation, had the ability to sit down with the Mayor and Jane Brekenridge from the department of Social Development in quite an engaging discussion along with the members of the organization. The topic came up from the Mayor what about grandparents even of those that are still married that one decides that the other's family should be alienated. I could see in the eye's of the gentleman that came with him eye's that this was hitting home. It shows me one direct certainty that we live in a very immature society where family is last on people's minds and people's own vindictive agenda's can be brought forward with no form of punishment for the devious actions. The people that make our polices and Judiciary of our province and country hopefully take that minute out to read this and feel the pain they are causing men,women and children by not addressing this issue. The great thing is here in New Brunswick they are finally taking the initiative in the governmental levels. Hopefully the judiciary in our province are listening also to the polls that 80% of our country want to see "Equal Parenting" happen. The only suggestion I can give to the young men and women this father's day is that; the good parents in the up coming society make sure the person you pick to share your life with and become a parent with is a very sound and stable person. That you can trust them with more than your disposable items that can be replaced at a local store; your children, as the present laws and legislations that are in place will not protect them or you from being the next call we get asking advice on what just happened.